What Has Been Going On?! (Part 2)

So, in my last post I talked about what my company has been doing for the last 6 months. Now let me give you some more BIG news!

We are going to have another baby! 💙

I am technically due September 1st 2017. Because I am having a repeat cesarean, HE will be born two weeks early so that I do not go into labor. However, given my medical/pregnancy history my team of doctors do not believe I'll make it into August. But my primary doctor wants me to make it past 34 weeks. So that's what we'll do!

I found out the beginning of January. My 12-year-old had a dentist appointment. Afterwards, we went to the store to fill his prescription. On the way there I passed the dollar store. I decided to stop in there on my way home. I was around a week late for my period, which was common for me. I have PCOS, which has left me with extremely infrequent periods. Sometimes only 2-3 a year! It also created times of infertility that I eventually came to terms with. I was very happy with the two boys I was already blessed with. But I experienced so many miscarriages & a stillbirth. Tracking my period gave me an insight on what my body was doing. It was also my preferred choice of birth control.

I bought 2 tests at the dollar store. Not sure what made me buy them. Other than passing the store and getting the thought then, I had never considered it. Not even an hour before. But I kept having cramps, waiting every day for something thst never came.

I took the two tests home and immediately went to the bathroom. I put the drops in and waited. But before I finished putting the last drop in, the urine passed across the window. Immediately I got one... no... two lines. Immediately. What?! So seriously not possible. So I caught my breath and unwrapped the second test. It was the same exact action. An immediate, bold positive. I literally sat there in complete shock and confusion. Total disbelief that brought me to tears.

I gathered myself and called my 21-year-old son. I'm not sure why I called him. He was living with his fiancee for about 6 months. He was as shocked as I was. I believe when he hung up the phone, he called his fiancee who was at work at a pharmacy. She called me and said they were coming over after work with a new set of name brand tests.

I don't know why it hit me so hard. Fear of yet ANOTHER miscarriage and the pain that goes with it. The fact that I had diabetes that was so out of control. I was no longer working as a registered nurse and had been receiving therapy and pain management. The loss of something I loved and worked incredibly hard for. I knew for 100 reasons that the news would never be well accepted by the often terrifyingly critical people I loved in my life. I felt that I repeatedly let people down and every time I tried to make people "love me more" I simply failed. I knew this would not be seen as a blessing from God, but another of my failures.

My son & his fiancee stopped by a few hours later. In that time, I knew the best thing would be to be open and honest to two of the closest people in the world to me. I think they were as shocked and in as much disbelief as I was. A few dollar store pregnancy tests couldn't be telling me the fate of the rest of my life! I was in total denial.

So, again, I provided my "sample" in a cup and my son and fiancee watched as I dipped it into the cup. Literally, within seconds, two lines formed. The odd thing (to me) is that the test line was considerably darker than the control line. I thought it was the other way around? Or did it matter? Why were these tests turning positive without a wait?

Since it was a two-pack we went ahead and watched the second test turn positive immediately. I don't know why I felt so much shame. People are supposed to be happy! I think I've been hit with so much tragedy in my life and so many losses, that's how I started reacting to something unknown and unexpected.

About a week later, after considerable cramping, I took a trip to the emergency room. My fear was either an hcg producing tumor or an ectopic pregnancy. The doctor took blood & urine samples. She said if my hcg levels were above 6,000 she was going to order an ultrasound. For about an hour I sat, not hearing a word, when a very rude radiology technician entered my room and told me to come with her. I told her I would once my doctor or nurse would tell me what was going on. So, literally angrily, she got my doctor. Apparently told her that I was refusing an ultrasound. What?! I was there to rule things out and learn what was wrong. I never said I was refusing. Technically, it would be my right to refuse. I just wanted to know what the lab tests were showing.

The doctor came in and I asked for that information. All was normal, besides a very high blood sugar and a high hcg level. Now, it was time to have an ultrasound. Everything for the next 20 minutes was nothing but very rude commands. I was a nurse in this very hospital and even during the busiest or worst times, I never experienced an employee so rude to a patient. To make matters worse (ladies, you know) this wasn't an abdominal ultrasound.

Some time later, my incredibly amazing nurse came in to hook me up to IV fluids with insulin. She said the doctor needed to get my blood sugar down. Then the doctor came in. She told me I was indeed pregnant. Fortunately, it was not ectopic. Even a yolk sac and fetal pole was seen. I am one stubborn individual in denial. I told her I believe her words, but I had to see it for myself. She told me she didn't think she could access images. But she'd try.

A few minutes later she came back to show me her cell phone. She took a picture of the image on the screen. I cried. There was my tiny baby! I asked for a print out or to take a picture of the image on the screen. She left and came back with a computer print out of my baby! I had an amazing nurse and doctor. They were very comforting and full of smiles. Everything was normal.

After a few shots of insulin and two bags of IV fluids I went home. I had alot to think about. But I was scared & cautious. I only successfully carried 20% of my pregnancies. I would surely lose this one. But it felt different in a way. I was completely physically & emotionally exhausted. I went to bed early. Not sure if I slept peacefully, but I certainly couldn't stay awake.

I will make more posts of my journey over the last 5 months. It had its ups & downs physically and emotionally. But things are really looking good at nearly 6 months pregnant with my little man who has given little thumps in my belly while I wrote this (unbelievably long) post! I will try to get some photos posted of things mentioned here 💙

The first picture of my little man! The circle is the yolk sac and just to the left is the "fetal pole". That's him tiny as can be. I found out relatively early & his heart was already beating! Truely a miracle at only 5-6 weeks old. For those curious, my hcg levels were around 8,000 at this time, I believe.

Here are two of the notorious pregnancy tests. The pink one on the left was the first I took. Very bold. The white one on the right is a name brand test. Also, a very definite and immediate positive.

What Has Been Going On?!

It is already May?! My last post was in November?! Time is unbelievable! So, what has been going on that has me so consumed?

Of course, I have really been putting effort into my wax melt company. I have been watching some other small wax businesses and getting to know many vendors. There are some incredibly fantastic people out there! Mostly women but also a few men. I love writing them on Instagram, where we all interact with each other. We praise each other on successes, new businesses, and even wonderful events that they choose to share.

If you are on Instagram, find me under LovingMelts! Feel free to send me a message. I just might respond with a coupon code to my online store for a pretty savings 😉 My store is still located at Lovingmelts.etsy.com. I have tried other hosting companies and even went independently. But it has been a challenge expressing what I want to the customer and also giving them the best service and an easy ordering process.

Currently I am trying to make room for additional lines of wax melts. Mainly creating molded wax in heart and star shapes and selling them by the bag! I am still offering wax in 2 ounce cups that I call "Scent Shots". It's an economical way to try a wide variety of scents! I am also going to add a twin pack of tarts to my line. So all of the "already made & cured" wax is going on a clearance sale! Once I have the right photos and the information in Lovingmelts.etsy.com, I will include all of the new products. Hopefully THIS Sunday!

See Part 2 of my update for the BIG announcement! No, I didn't win the lottery. Something MUCH better 💙

Save 20% Right NOW at Loving Melts!

Use coupon code FACEBOOK20 to save 20% off your entire order (minus shipping) at LovingMelts.etsy.com! For up-to-date information, including new items and future discounts join the Loving Melts Facebook Page at https://www.facebook.com/lovingmelts/

Many Popular Scents!

Amish Harvest

Baked Apple Pie

Banana Nut Bread

Grandma's Kitchen

Sand & Sea Spray

New Addition for Loving Melts!!!

THUMBS UP? THUMBS DOWN?

Mini Heart Collection - Soy Wax Melts

In addition to the clamshells I already sell, I want to add shaped mini melts. They will be sold at the same price, as the weight of the wax will still be the same. Right now i have plastic boxes they will come in, but having bags with a cute ribbon might be a sweet touch. Of course, all scents will be available in clamshell or hearts.

Thinking about rolling this out Wednesday at LovingMelts.etsy.com !!!

Book Review: Why I Left the Amish by Saloma Miller-Furlong

This has to be one of the most heartfelt non-fiction books regarding the Amish out there. I really love Saloma's calm and mellow personality and it shows in her memories.

Saloma was a child growing up in Amish Ohio. Her story recounts many details of her life, and the life of her Amish family as flashbacks, starting with her dying father and her decision on whether to visit him before he passes. In the book, present day, she is attending college with a husband and two grown sons. Continuing her education was a dream of hers and very important to her.

Looking back on her life, she speaks of the good times, and bad times, of her family. She speaks of her father, who struggled with a degree of mental illness from a troubled childhood himself. Her mother frequently had to pick up the slack for what he was unable and unwilling to do. Life on an Amish farm is difficult for each parent to begin with. But to handle all of the responsibility of a mother of a number of children, wife, and tending to the animals proved to be difficult for her.

Saloma tells the story of her various siblings and their struggles, as well. Including physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. She also speaks of her memories of becoming a member of the Amish church, which typically occurs during late teens-early 20's. There were things she didn't agree with the church on, but being an Amish female also meant being submissive to the men in her life and community.

But, unlike some stories you hear, Saloma does a fine job of not making it a story about pity or an Amish Bash Fest. She does a fine job of pulling you into her life, living her memories, filled with many laughs and many tears.

I do not want to give too much of the story away, but if you want a story of an Amish child and learning interesting information on how her particular community and family worked, this is a great story. I think the biggest plus in this story is her vivid memories told in a very mellow tone. Nothing wildly exaggerated. Simply like sitting down and having your mother or grandmother tell you the story of her life with no dull moments.

I'd definitely give it 5/5 stars!

My Company: Loving Melts!!!!!

My entire life I have had an extreme love for candles. Their beauty at night and the wide range of scents they can throw off. It actually turned into a sort of "art".

Which fragrances I burned corresponded to the season. Summertime was fruity & sometimes tropical scents. Fall was baked scents and things that made me think of leaves falling and cool, crisp air. Winter is my favorite season. I have a major love affair with snow and cold temperatures! So candles are especially a big part of winter for me. Pine scents, baked scents, things like Mulberry & peppermint. Spring is a beautiful season that brings candles with scents of flowers and "clean" scents. 

So, now you can see the huge correlation between every season, year after year, the candles that I have burning. It's just "my thing". My love :-)

So while I was in college I experimented with making candles. It is so much harder than you can imagine! There is a huge variety of waxes that have different "personalities". They create different appearances and their hardness/softness has different burning qualities. 

Plus, you have to watch temperatures carefully when making candles. Depending on the wax & container you're pouring into, you must melt the wax to a certain temperature. If you are using additives or dyes, you have to get the wax to a certain temperature for those things to mix in correctly. 

Dyes come in powder, solid, & liquid form. The liquids are generally very heavy in pigments & sometimes only a few drops are needed to create a bold color. And it's very important that dyes used for candle making are used. Things like food coloring absolutely will not work. 

As far as wicks go, so many variables go in to choosing the right one. What kind of wick material do you want to use? What size? What is the width of the container being used? You don't want to end up with an "intense" wick in a small glass container and create a hazardous situation. The glass could get very hot and burn your hand if you try to move it. Or it could even shatter. You also do not want a wick/wax combination where the wax melts away too quickly, leaving a wick that creates a huge flame and a huge fire hazard. 

Another consideration is removing the wax from its heat source to bring its temperature down so that you can add fragrance oil. If you add the fragrance when the wax is still too hot, the scent will "burn off" before you even pour it. Then you, or your customers, are left with a candle that doesn't create much scent "throw". 

The perfect combination, and one I worked so hard to create, was a candle combination where, when lit, warmed to the edge of the glass without the glass getting too hot. A candle that was slow burning & lasted a long time & had a good scent throw. You can place the candle burning in a large room and the whole room smells fabulous. 

I also started creating "melts" at that time. Especially the tart form. They didn't have wicks that you lit. They were simply wax with a heavier scent to pass through your house. They were placed in a beautiful and a wide variety of creative of warming devices. The wax would melt into beautiful colors. Almost like a lake of beautiful colors. 

Unfortunately, once the nursing phase of college started, I had to give up candle making. It was such an intense program that there was very little time for any kind of life. 

After graduation, I was a nurse for a number of years with little time to even get back into candle making. Eventually a spinal injury basically kept me from working for awhile. Of course, I still had to bring in money to live. So I decided to create a company especially focused on making melts. Especially the kind packaged in 6-square clamshells. 

I decided to set up shop on Etsy, a site devoted to selling handmade products of all sorts. My site address is LovingMelts.etsy.com

Now I am trying to think of ways to expand my company. With the Christmas holidays a few months away, I was thinking about creating gift packages. I want to include 3 different scents, combined with a warmer, to be given as a gift. 

There are two different kinds of warmers out there, as well. They can be warmed electrically. Generally, when you plug them in, either a hot plate warms & melts the wax, or a light bulb is lit & the heat from that melts the wax & releases the fragrance from the wax. The other type is warmed by a tea light, which is a really small candle, and melts the wax that way. 

I have ordered molds in different shapes that I can sell by the bag. So you will have a choice between clamshells, bags of shaped wax, & gift packages! I'm even thinking about creating beginner kits that include everything you need to make your own melts! Included will be:

- Specialty wax for molded melts

- A melting pot for melting & mixing wax

- A candle thermometer

- 3 different wax colors

- 3 different wax fragrances

- 20 clamshells 

- Warning labels to attach to the clamshells

- Detailed instructions

It will take quite a financial investment for even that because I will need to buy all those items in bulk and sell them for some degree of profit. Keep in mind, I'm doing this to survive literally! Having this company has bought food, school supplies & paid bills. So it's not only been enjoyable for me, but it's also helped my family live. I can't wait to be back on my feet again to where I can work like I want to again! Fortunately, I consider myself quite humble. 

Anyways, ive had SO much fun making these and selling to customers!!!!! Its like a dream turning my hobby in to a way to help support my family.

So PLEASE check out my website at LovingMelts.etsy.com
If theres a particular scent youre looking for please let me know. I have access to 400 some scents. Ill find what you want. With purchase, i will order it and make it immediately, let it cure a day, and then ship it out. So you will have a little extra time to wait. But you will get exactly what you want!

Im staying with the Amish loves of my life (best friends) and its been a hit! So give 3 or 4 or more a try. Its a fun thing to do!! A new scent every day. Really changes your mood!

Please, please tell your friends too! Sorry to sound like a pleading fool. A little goes a long way!!

LovingMelts.etsy.com 

Wow. 15 years? 10 years?

What a sad year. 15 years since 9/11 and 10 years since Nickel Mines. All these people taken from others' lives needlessly. It's so sad & jacked up. 

I had a flight from Raleigh-Durham to Atlanta when they first opened the airports. Today makes me think about how different the airport felt a few days after, like a ghost town but busy at the same time. I remember sitting at the terminal waiting & hardly any of the TVs were on. Probably cause everything was related to airplane hijackings.

It was quiet with no TVs on, but current events were all these strangers were talking to each other about. I knew my flight would be safe with all the security. Besides, the people were mega pumped up at the time & I knew if anyone even ACTED wrong, they'd have a plane full of adrenalized passengers kicking their punk asses. I had so many people trying to talk me out of flying. I was a bit nervous, but I knew it was ok. And, of course, it went fine. 

But with as much as I fly, I still feel vulnerable in that tight metal tube. I can't begin to imagine their horror on 9/11. Even planes not hijacked. Did people know about other planes? Were they wondering if there was an ****ole on their own plane? 

So now I'm getting ready for a flight in 3 days. I know it's safe from terrorist jackasses. But what about even mechanical problems? I know even those odds are slim. I know two flights separate me from seeing my kids again every time I go away. But my heart is with them. I can't imagine living without them. All those people who died on 9/11 who had children, felt the same way, I'm sure. I can't imagine that kind of pain. Not just knowing you were likely going to die, but the loved ones images that popped in their minds. 

Anyways, that's what's in my head today. Just had to "get it out". 

I know I said I make a post about my new home business & haven't done it yet. But please check it out at LovingMelts.etsy.com

Thank you!

August Update! My company on etsy, the Amish, and my family!

My goodness. Well, let's see what all has changed since my last blog posting (I have to get more routine than this LOL). The post I made about MusicXray seemed to be a real waste of time. I logged on a huge number of times and never once was offered music that I could listen to and "earn" money. I even changed music genres and other variables. No luck. So don't waste your time with these people.

The most fantastic news I will put in it's own separate blog posting right after this because it's just SO phenomenal.

I told everyone that I take very frequent trips to Lancaster, PA and stay with a small variety of Old Order Amish people and I work for them, make money, and my trips are essentially free. In exchange, I take care of their animals when they are gone, take care of the house. And it's not always just when they're gone. They love sharing their homes and their lives with me. And it's absolutely a blessing. I am not Old Order Amish myself, of course, and not sure I'd want to be. The lifestyle has been something that I have become very acclimated to and it's surprisingly enjoyable. It's ALOT of work. But there's some real beauty in it. My thing is that I tend to be friends with guys alot more than girls. On a friendship only level. No "benefits". I find that men like to have a good time and just be themselves. You don't hear men bashing other men too much. Yes, sometimes you get the "Alpha Male Syndrome", especially when competition over a girl occurs. But I find men to be more down to earth. That's not well accepted in the Amish community. Women may casually intermingle with men in a social setting, but men and women are commonly separate. Some Amish women, not all, can be extraordinarily catty. Not in the aggressive sense. But there is alot of gossip and wanting to know every detail of everyone's lives. I suppose after cleaning and cooking and playing in the garden, time is commonly spent with "playdates" essentially. Maybe a quilting circle. Whatever. And it's ALL about gossip.

That's where it doesn't work with me. Community is very important to them. And very important to me too. The Amish have the mindset that God is important, community is important, family, and then themselves. An example of how community pulling together is incredibly important is after my brother died. It was an extremely traumatic event. On top of that, planning a last second funeral in a family that has strong ties to the community, you have to make sure so much is in order. We had SO many families come to us offering to do anything for us. And we wouldn't have to cook for a couple of months if food didn't go bad. People brought over casseroles and food galore. It was amazing and touching. I think we were all in a daze that we really didn't have an appetite, but at the same time eating brought comfort (although we weren't normally "comfort eaters"). That's how it is with the Amish times 100. If your barn or house burned down, they'd have another one built within a week. They'd make sure every need you could possibly have was taken care of. That's the way all of society should be. But the women can keep their gossip.

I'm not saying all Amish women are terrible at gossip, but you do have many eyes on you. What happens in your life is spread through the church, and every district even states away! I'm a very private person. I love friends. Absolutely. But there's only a handful I'd want to know certain things that occur.

Air conditioning is another thing I can't do without for too long. If you are in an Amish home in the middle of a rural area with lots of farm land around, you tend to get breezes. That helps alot with cooling off a home. On the other hand, in a suburban or urban area with nothing but homes and buildings, you are caught in a heat trap. So for the last few years I have spent time during the summer with no air conditioning. It's incredible when you don't have it, how fast your body learns to tolerate it. Now, I'm speaking Pennsylvania. I'm not talking about the south where heat indexes are 110-120. That's deadly. When I was there in July, I did fine. As long as I had a shower and baby powder and clothes that breathed. You know not to use the oven during the day. Good grief! LOL But I got into someone's car that had air conditioning and it was almost too much! This is coming from a girl that sweats. Last year my house was kept at 68 degrees. Now it's between 74-76. What a change Amish living has done to me!

Anyways, so I was flown up to Lancaster from Saturday to Wednesday. It was a short trip. Only problem is I didn't realize I had a layover in Orlando. Southwest Airlines, that I fly RELIGIOUSLY, really screwed the pooch. My departure from Orlando was supposed to be 11:00 am. I didn't get to Philadelphia to catch the last train to Lancaster until 7:00 pm! It was a literal nightmare. Fortunately, Southwest gave everyone $200 in travel vouchers. I will say I know how to find a $41 flight. So I have at least 2 free round trip tickets. September 14th I am going back. I'm beyond anxious already!

As far as my family goes, my older son, Cody and his girlfriend just got engaged. They are choosing to wait a few years to get married, but I have a feeling any day I'll get a text saying "We went to the courthouse and got married!" Which, if they did, even if I feel things could be done differently, I will be very happy and supportive of them. Things can always be done differently. And it's not anyone's business how it's done but theirs.

And my younger son started middle school for the first time July 29th, I believe. Yes, ridiculous. But what can we do? Unfortunately, his school year has not been easy. He loves being an older kid now and treated less like a baby. But he's caught a very nasty chest cold. With Colin being born prematurely and being on a ventilator, it seems chest colds prove brutal for him. So he missed 2.5 days because of that. The half day was the school telling us to come pick him up because he was having trouble breathing. So he's had alot of bed rest, coupled with light activity and medication. Last night was the first night in awhile that he slept through the night. There were a few times he about went to the ER because of trouble breathing, but we got it under control.

But Colin's birthday is in a few weeks! 12 years old. Wow. And Cody is 21 in November. Unbelievable.

Well, I will get to the good news later unfortunately. But I'll say that I finally got my soy wax melt business up and moving! It's actually proved to be a blessing. I love it. So PLEASE visit my store at LovingMelts.etsy.com

My summer line sold out in a month. It was incredible. Now I'm starting my fall line. Lots of baking scents and others. There are currently 12 scents available and they are moving fast.

The biggest sellers BY FAR are:
Amish Harvest
Baked Apple Pie
Grandma's Kitchen

As of right now I have 3 or 4 left of each, so jump over there and catch them before they are gone! More fall scents and eventually Christmas & winter scents will be coming soon. Big plans are on the way with that! When I make my separate post for that I will be sure to tell you ALL about it! So please, visit my store. $4.00 each! I have not received a complaint so far! :-) I pray that continues. And tell your friends please!

LovingMelts.etsy.com

January: Amish Lancaster Trip (Day Two: Thursday)

Woke up at 4:00 am to Alice coming upstairs and licking my face out of a deep sleep. Yucky. 

I decided to get up and use the bathroom right quick. It was nearly 10 hours since my last pain pill & with all the activity the day before I was feeling every ounce of it. I slept like a log otherwise, so that contributed to my pain. Oh the stiffness. But my pain medicine & Gabapentin was downstairs in my purse that I forgot. 

So, I went downstairs. I felt like I spent two hours as a novice at a gym. I hurt in places that never existed. So I took my morning meds & a pain pill. Generally, I have found spending all day in bed makes it worse. For one thing, my joints need movement & my muscle needs stretched. I'd LOVE to try an epidural in my SI joint where the rheumatoid damage is worse & where the spinal stenosis is bad. But with the nightmare that our healthcare has become we are eating expired food from food pantries half the time just to pay $800 a month for 2 people for a $6000 deductible plan. Never in my life have I seen it this bad. 

Anyways! Sorry about that. So I got up at 4:30 and helped entertain Alice with the laser light as David fed the horses & got ready for work.  

After he was gone I filled a bucket with Mr. Clean Lemon & a rag & cleared off the table & counter from breakfast. Then I got my wet Mr. Clean washcloth & wiped the table, countertops, cabinets, gas appliances, & bathroom surfaces down. Thought about sweeping the floor, but chose not to. Washed some clothes. I will dry those out later. 

So, I did my part in keeping mildly active & useful all in one. The strong medicines make me very drowsy, so now I'm cuddled under a sheet, a baby blue blanket, and a cute multi-colored quilt. 

I do have permission to stay in bed and rest after a physically & emotionally traumatic day (half-sarcasm) at Atlanta & Philadelphia's airports. (Why is my plane always at the end of the terminals?) Not to mention 30th Street Train Station in Philadelphia. And people. They make me want to cry. Standing in line after line with so many people ahead of me. 

But on a lighter note, I feel wonderful after talking to my 11-year-old last night. He sounded so happy. Ah. Music to my ears. And the snow. Something about the air when it snows. Almost feels... Cleaner? I don't know. 

Ok, I'm going to nap a little. The pain pills have overruled my eyelids. 

Be On The Lookout!!!

I have something very exciting coming up. Actualy, a few very exciting things. First, I am going to be visiting my Lancaster County, PA once again the end of this month. My stomach has butterflies already, it's going to be a tough month to contain the excitement! Ticket is already purchased and my Amish home is waiting for me. And Alice is going to get fixed this month before she goes into heat again. Last time was when I was there in September. And they say it's every 6 months for dogs. So we have to beat her to it!!! LOL

Next, I am getting back into a hobby that I totally enjoyed when I was in college. Back then it was candle making. This time I am going to completely be committed to melts. You know, the highly fragranced wax that you put in a warmer and it makes your whole house smell good? I made them years ago as well, but people weren't as familiar with them at the time. Now it seems Good Housekeeping and Glade has a melts line on the shelves. So people are starting to get it.

I believe I have found a good company that I want to work with pretty exclusively. I had to research the wax I wanted to use and then compare prices and shipping. The company that came out ahead on price and customer satisfaction just happened to be close by here! So even better. No shipping costs. Just a quick drive over to pick up my order.

I've decided to start with 10 scents. I think that's reasonable. Since it's winter I chose some spicy scents, some all year clean scents, spa scents, and a masculine scent. Depending on whether I can sell these and make money for another set I think I'll add a "Spring Line" that will have light floral scents for people to enjoy as it begins to warm up outside :-) I'm also a sucker for simple scents. Like orange. Just something refreshing about that. And lemon. You gotta have lemon in the kitchen. And clean cotton in the bathroom. Of course. Yes. Yes.

My only debate right now is do I do 6-piece clamshells? Or do I do a 1 oz cup with a lid? So all you have to do is plop the hardened wax in the warmer. No mess.

Writing a Book!

I've been toying with the concept of writing a book. Non-fiction. Something people can read and learn from. Maybe it can read like any other book, rather than a reference book where you simply look up information. But I want to add something extra in this book. I plan to online interview people about particular subjects as it pertains to them and add relevant clips to my book. I'm hoping maybe 5-10 people will be enough. Just depends :-)

If this works out I will at least give them a free copy of the book as a "Thank you".

Well, I plan to include updates here on my blog as I continue working on my book.

I appreciate any and all encouragement! Thanks! :-)

A Recommended Read!

I am familiar with this particular author, as I have purchased another creation of hers Speaking Amish. That book teaches you the basics of learning the Pennsylvania Dutch language. 

Now, she has come out with a new book, Lydia's Bonnet:

Order now! Special pre-order price! 

Lydia's Bonnet is the true story of a little Amish girl growing up with her four brothers in Lancaster County, PA. She has lots of friends at school, but one day her friends get her into trouble. And a certain blue bonnet is in the middle of it all. 

34 pages of big, beautiful photographs. 11 x 8 1/2. Paperback. Regular price $8.95. Now only $7.50 plus shipping! 

http://www.speakingamish.com/buy-books/

I have already jumped on this special offer & I encourage everyone else to do the same! I will update once I receive it & do a review once I am done with it. :-)

What day is it?!

I lost count of which day it is on SmartMix, but I'm still moving right along. I believe it's day 10. 

We just had a time change, which I think is a bonehead idea, and it's bound to throw me off. It did last night. I was so ready for bed. 

Tried to honor the Sabbath better yesterday. Normally I'm a mess cleaning house. I'm excited that Friday I swept the front porch, sidewalks, & driveway of dirt & leaves. I have an electric leaf lower, but I chose to do it manually, like a real woman :-) 

And Saturday I took my son Trick-Or-Treating like a nice mommy. He was something from Star Wars. I never got a good front shot, but lots from the back or side. So he was basically "The Black Thing" in all my pictures lol

So that was him. We did things a little different this year so there were more houses and fewer people. I get fussy when a lot of people are around acting completely ignorant. So I only got fussy once. We were waiting in line for cotton candy for Colin & they shut it down early. Just aggravated me. Happens every year. Grrrrrrr. 

But last Wednesday I made it to see my doctor. I was a little annoyed that the fee structure changed. It used to be $75 for new patients & $55 for established patients. Now it's $75 to see the dr and $55 to see the nurse practitioner. We aren't going there. So I paid it and waited. Gain 1.5 lbs. Oh well. 

My visit was very constructive with the doctor. He wants me in pain management for the rheumatoid arthritis. Until then he gave me some Norco's which have been a life saver until I can get in to get more long-term treatment, like cortisone shots in my joints. I do not want to do 1 Norco every 4 hrs of my life sort of thing. I want it when I really need it. If I don't need it for 2 days, I'm not taking it. I'm afraid of addiction. 

But anyways, the pills have allowed me to work outside on my house, clean inside more, walk my kid on Halloween & have those memories. This morning I am sore. It's been raining non-stop for 2 days. It's soaked. So I'm about to take some pills and take a nap. Trying to balance activity & rest. With the pills, starting my walking again sounds fantastic. But the rain. Grrrr!

Today & tomorrow I need to focus on packing for my trip. I'm flying out of Atlanta here at 8:30 am. It's a 2 hr flight. 1 hr in Philly. 1 hr Amtrak to Lancaster & 30 min to the Amish house I'm staying in. So I'll have about 3 hours to play with Alice the mutt till work time is over. I'm excited, nervous, worried. My dr made sure he prescribed enough pain medicine  for all the fast walking I need to do. I'll be good and relaxed for the plane ride though. I'm flying on Southwest Airlines, which is my preferred airline. I use their RapidPoints program & this is my free flight. Yay!!!

Thought I'd go to Michaels last night in Conyers to pick up a cross stitch project. I am SO frustrated. Their projects went from an entire row to a 5x7 area of cheesy 8th grader type projects. I wasn't pleased. Walmart doesn't carry any anymore that I could see. Hobby Lobby was respectfully closed. So forget it. I'll listen to podcasts. Only problem is that my ears pop the whole time so the ear buds are annoying. I'm grabbing a window seat. Hopefully we fly over bad weather or something exciting. Just please, not the drunk lady & the dude needing sedating from last time. I got contact drunk from the smell of her 10, yes 10, little vodka bottles. They need to limit it to 3. Seriously. 

So! That's that. I'll try to update Wednesday while traveling. Hopefully I'll post pictures of how I live Amish in Lancaster. Be back next Wednesday! Miss my boys already :-(

Day 1: Zija SmartMix

Well, I received my SmartMix today. I'm excited to get back on it. I know last time, despite my skepticism, it worked nicely. I have Type 1 diabetes and it did well to quickly bring down my blood sugars. I had increased energy within the week. And that made my mood happier. 

I think my status as a distributer had expired so I'm not doing this for sales. I'm doing this because I want people to see how it worked for ME. It could work better or worse for them. With experience as an RN I've been trained to see things objectively. But I also hope for the best.

My biggest concerns: Pain, joint inflammation, blood sugar, and the exhaustion coming from all of those combined. 

I thought I might mention, I decided to buy some of that stuff from V8. The healthy green blend. I've always lived traditional V8 since I was a kid. I know veggies are good for you. I've always been interested in "juicing" but haven't tried it. I suppose this stuff is supposed to mimic that idea. 

I read reviews online talking about it's blend of spinach, yellow carrots, etc. Green apple & pineapple has been added to make the taste better. Honestly, the sludge at the bottom has me hoping for "nutrition". I couldn't believe how many bad reviews it got for taste! I was a little worried I wasted $4. 

So, I chilled it and poured a little in a glass. "Just suck it up" I told myself. Took a deep breath and drank... And drank... And drank. This stuff was good! Those reviewers were crazy. I don't like my juices (orange, apple, grape) straight usually. I serve them over heavy shaved ice and add a third of water to my glass. Even the "No added sugar" types. I could possibly do that with this, but it's not bad. They don't add sugar to this stuff. The pineapple is sweet enough. It's a very light & pleasant blend. It's a good veggie drink. If you like pineapple and green apple, I HIGHLY recommend the V8 Healthy Green. 

Of course, because this isn't pure juicing, you don't get the good fiber that comes with it. I'd be interested in one day buying a juicer and copycatting this mixture. Absolutely delicious! :-)

I do not have any disclaimers because I have nothing to gain from this honest post. I do not work for V8 and I'm not part of any promotions. So that's my non-disclaimer disclaimer lol

It's been too long!

I know I haven't posted in awhile and I apologize. I started a new job back in July and it was full time. I had to get out of nursing for awhile. I won't get into the reasons, but it was mostly a family decision. Plus my last employer... well, I don't believe in burning bridges.

So I did some work for a company recently. I thought it was a dream come true. Everything was done at home, my breaks coincided with my son returning from school. But it's amazing how boring sitting at a desk on a computer can be. I mean it's fine if you can get up enough and stretch, but I ended up with back to back constant calls. It was great when I was in my month of training. But that month of "training" was so different than what I would be taking calls on. It was basically "learn as you go". But when you frequently have an irate person on the phone (which I frequently did) and you have no clue what you're supposed to be doing, it gets very stressful. And I did realize getting out of nursing would mean a HUGE pay cut. Like 75%. So they pay was terrible and I still missed nursing.

Then I started having alot of issues with swelling. It was so bad I could only waddle. I couldn't bend my ankles. I hear it's a common side effect that comes with taking Gabapentin. But that eventually went away because I couldn't imagine a world without Gabapentin. (I will also talk later about my recent experiences with Gabapentin). Good thing about this job is the insurance. I've had to go without insurance, which was catastrophic with serious chronic conditions. Not having a doctors care was bad.

Then I start having a real upset stomach. I would lay in bed experimenting with what I could or couldn't tolerate. It was mostly water, Sprite, and mashed potatoes. I literally lived on that for weeks. But I was still throwing that up. Then it became just Sprite and water. Then just water. Then, even water burned my stomach. And trying to deal with irate customers, or simply a company that lacked good management and communication skills was too much for me. I'd be on the phone with someone and ready to throw up any second. I was too weak to even sit at a computer at home all day. Breaks meant laying in bed in agony for 15 minutes twice a day, lunch was an hour of crawling in to bed with bad abdominal pain, and alot of crying. I told my boss and went to the ER 3 times with severe dehydration. I provided documentation to my boss and she put me on a Leave of Absence. The CT scans showed stones in my appendix. Not sure if that's what it was. But the dr said my appendix wasn't infected so he wasn't going to do surgery or antibiotics. But I'm loaded with Zofran, Bentyl, and another medication. Not to mention Toradol for the pain too.

But the CT scan also showed rheumatoid arthritis in my left sacroiliac joint in my left hip. It's ironic because I always had pain on that side that I thought was sciatica. But I'm not sure if SI joint arthritis can irritate the sciatic nerve causing pain.

Anyways, so I found a new doctor! And he's a doll baby. He's at Covington One Medical on 278 here. It's urgent care/primary care. He spent a good 30+ minutes on me. I told him about the RA find and he said it doesn't just show up in one joint, so he was skeptical. Then he checked many of my joints. Sure enough, he said I had arthritis in all my joints. OMG! What the heck? I had no clue. Yeah I'm achey alot, but I figured I was just being a cry baby.

So now we have type 1 diabetes with no insulin production capabilities. I have rheumatoid arthritis. And I also have a hormone or chemical that is attacking my thyroid. All are autoimmune diseases. Why am I being flooded with autoimmune diseases? Is it possible lupus is the cause? I guess I have to have an antibody test to see if it is lupus. It would explain ALOT. But I don't want lupus.

So what about the neuropathy and gabapentin? Well I went from 300 mg twice a day to 600 mg three times a day, now to 800 mg four times a day. Not on narcotics or anything. Next step would be Lyrica, which is similar, but different than gabapentin. I don't believe there's a generic for it, but there are alot of coupons and patient assistance programs available if I qualify. More tests are needed because the doctor I met in the same practice yesterday thinks it could also be something involving my spine and wants to do xrays. But I have to do things a little at a time. My pathetic insurance, BCBS PPO has a $2600 deductable. No way I'll meet that. So I still pay high premiums and they pay nothing. Basically it's as good as catastrophic only insurance. And it was the better of the two that this employer offers. The other was Kaiser and doesn't work well in this area. Plus it had a higher deductable.

I have never in my life seen health care become SO bad. If this is the effect Obama has on health care he just proved he's a failure. I'm SO upset.

But some good news. I have dealt with blood pressures that are sky high since I had pre-eclampsia with my younger son. It was supposed to go away after he was delivered, but it never did. I've been on bp meds off and on for 11 years. Dr. Stewart started me on Coreg twice a day. Yesterday at my follow up I was not 200/120 like Ive seen in the past. I was 118/80!!!!! I'm so happy!!! My heart no longer beats twice a second at rest. (120 beats a minute) I am now in the 90's. We're getting there!!!!! And he added Zocor for cholesterol for heart health. I don't know what my cholesterol is. But we are working to protect my heart and brain by preventing heart attack and stroke. Liver enzymes a little high, but not dangerous. No kidney damage despite having diabetes for 15 years or so. Which is amazing. Last a1c was 13.6. That's astronomical. Suicidal. So still working on that. Trying to find ways to afford insulin.

I do have anxiety issues that I've dealt with since losing my brother to suicide 10 years ago. I have an unrealistic fear of something bad happening to someone I love. Phone calls scare me because that's how I learned of my brothers death. I will not talk on the phone more than I have to. My oldest son wants to be a police officer. Even his job now has put his life at risk. So that might create unreasonable worry on my part. So I take a strong anti-anxiety benzodiazepine. Now they want to ease me off of it and replace it with an anti-depressant that also works on anxiety. I'm skeptical because I don't like this class of drugs. I've taken a few that left me shaking and throwing up. Bad drugs.

So, really all I want is diabetes in control, no blood pressure issues, no arthritis, no pain, no worry. It's depressing all this stuff is happening. It's insane! And right now there's no end in sight for the pain. It's day and night.

Volunteer Nursing and Society

So tomorrow I am going to be getting started with a new company (confidential) where I will be helping people out from my home office exclusively. No more working in the hospital where my idea of being a nurse and caring for people, and their idea of what patient #239023 should get, are complete opposites. I will be sure to blog about it at some other time. I just want to help people. Seriously. When you've worked in any position where you have made a positive change in someone's life, it really adds to your own personal positivity. And it's like a drug. You want to help more and more.

When I was first starting my nursing career I volunteered at a free clinic run by a church here in town. It was for people who did not have insurance, and therefore lacked proper health care. Doctors and nurses from the area volunteered their time to keep this clinic running. The Solid Rock Baptist church provided the space for us to set up stations where we could do a basic assessment on patients before they went on to see the physician. There were phlebotomists who would draw blood. To be honest, I don't know which company the blood was sent off to. But everything was free to the patients. Local grocery stores even donated over the counter products that were nearing their expiration date, like Tylenol, lotion, contact lens solution, etc And people who came in were allowed to choose maybe 3 items for free. I mean, how cool is that? And think about it. Doctors and nurses work very long and stressful hours. Well I know nurses do ;-) And to agree to give even more time with no pay whatsoever. Why would anyone do it?

I suppose if someone is truly good at heart and really loves taking care of people, it IS a drug to them. Before I passed my state boards (and therefore couldn't legally do nursing work) a chart would be placed at the front desk that the administrative people would get together (patients chart, current information, etc). I would take that chart and call the person back. I mean, there were all kinds of people. Young, old, healthy, ill, black, white, English-speaking, non-English speaking, ex-Mill workers, ex-Farmers... I LOVED all of it. I liked to smile at people and greet them. Get to know a little about them. Things people tell you about their past or how they are living currently will give you a hint on what is important to them and what needs to be addressed. And talking to each person is like reading a new short story.

I would get their blood pressure, pulse, temp, blood sugar, and ask them a series of questions that the doctor would need to know, or I would need to know. If a woman was over a certain age, or had certain risk factors, I would give them a card with information on how to get a free mammogram through the county. Whatever was going on with that person I would do everything I could to hook them up with a free program that many didn't know about.

See? I don't believe in big government and having them control each point in our lives. If people rally together, like this clinic, we can help people get the care they need. Without all the political wrap up and red tape. People used to care for their elderly in the community. Then they only cared for their elderly parents. Now they shuffle them off to whatever place Medicare or insurance will pay for. And unfortunately we hear of the bad instances of elderly abuse. What about the Amish? They actually build an additional "house" to their own house on the farm, called a "dawdihaus" (grandparent house). The elderly don't waste away, they are right there interacting with all of their grandchildren and children. The community. They do little things, like gardening. Life still has meaning all the way. Why can't the English world be more like that? Things are not perfect with the Amish by any means. They have their own problems. They are human like anyone else. But their committment to "the old ways" are sometimes the best. Old time wisdom. These days we want to be in control and be the best. But how often do we stop and listen to those who have already been there and have listened to their elders of their time?

Things such as this clinic remind me of how every single one of us, no exception, need to turn back to our own people. Why are we all running around stressed? I wish we could turn our world around a little at a time and set up organizations to help people in need. We all have a million issues. Look at Alcoholics Anonymous. Whether you agree with their approach, it has helped millions over the years. In nursing school, we were required to sit in on some meetings. I don't even drink alcohol, but what drives these people to drink, I can relate to. I think we all can. We all find our crutch. AA doesn't push Christianity, but it does recognize a "higher power" greater than ourselves that we can pull strength from.

Another was Narcotics Anonymous. This was harder to find a meeting I could sit in on because privacy was a huge thing for these people. They often were obtaining narcotics illegally and didn't want their name and face out there with people who could turn them in. But they were strong and seeking help. Many of them legally were using pain medication their doctor prescribed. Maybe they were in a car accident and needed Oxycontin to get by each hour of a painful day. Unfortunately, as well as these medications worked, they also led you to addiction whether you used them correctly or not. I know when I worked OB/GYN there was a very young woman who came in who was in labor. She was in a terrible accident early in her pregnancy and broke her leg. Of course, she was in terrible pain all the time. But despite being pregnant, she needed pain medication. Her baby was born addicted to narcotics. What could be done? She wasn't seeking out illegal drugs off the street. She hesitated using the pain medication, but she had no choice. I would work in the nursery and her baby would have a separate room from the other sick babies in the NICU. There was a sign on the door so people would shut the door very quietly and keep the noise down. Although this baby was in a totally separate room, any noise would set him off. He was miserable. And the cry of a drug addicted baby is heart breaking. And this poor mother. I really felt for her. She didn't ask to be in an accident. She just wanted a healthy, happy life. Of course, they both eventually did ok, but it was a rough journey. Sad.

Anyways, as you can see one topic can make me think of other topics. I have a million things I want to post about and share with all of you. If there's anything you want to ask me about, or issues you want me to discuss, either comment or shoot me an email. Love you all! Wish me luck for work tomorrow!!!

RIP - Vent!

I try to live humbly. I don't have the latest and greatest of anything at all. My clothes are mostly 5+ years old. Don't even ask about my car. I get a used car when the old one either dies completely or I total it in an ugly accident. And cell phone? I've used the same iPhone 3 for about 5 years maybe. The screen was badly cracked about 2 years ago. Hey, it still worked so I found no need to get a newer one. And I admit, I'm the frugal type. I'm not signing up for a 2-year cell phone contract for $100 a month just to have a new smart phone every 2 years. LOL I'm terrible!!!

But the iPhone 3 has started becoming less and less functional. Apps don't work too often and the touch screen isn't as great. So last month I convinced myself to upgrade. Not to an iPhone 6 Plus. But to a state-of-the-art iPhone 4. I absolutely loved it. Only issue, which is a HUGE issue, is that it's a Verizon phone. I do not get reliable Verizon phone service here. Metro Atlanta of all places! You'd think I'd be well covered. But I'm not. My 3 was an AT&T phone and my service was incredible.

But the apps I was able to run were incredible. A medication reminder, a blood glucose log, games, etc. I was loving it. So last night I decided to wash my bedsheets. I had my phone on the charger on my bed and I made a point of taking my phone off my bed. Since I had alot of extra room in the washer I decided to add a few more sheets that I had used. Apparently, my phone fell in this pile without me knowing it.

I immediately put my phone in rice to absorb the moisture. Not sure how long you're supposed to do this. But I tried plugging my phone in today, and sure enough, it didn't work. I don't think it will ever work again. I got one month of use out of it.

Worse, I don't have a landline. And I'm supposed to start a new job Friday. I'm just so sad about it because I used it for so much. Besides email, I have no contact with the outside world. The phone I held off for years to purchase it dead. I guess I can buy a new one for $60 that I don't have. I just need to scream.

6/29/15: iPhone Gripes

I have an iPhone 4. I'm pretty humble all around, but I'm definitely not the type to have the latest and greatest phone. My phone was like $80 and it does everything I need it to. No reason to sign into a 2-year expensive contract just to get a phone that's MSRP at $700. I don't have a contract. I signed up for Straight Talk and it's like $40 a month. It says that it's unlimited data, but from what I hear if you use alot of data it will start to slow down to where it's next to useless. 99% of the time I run off of wi-fi anyways so it's never been an issue for me. BUT the BIGGEST complaint I have is that the phone I bought was a Verizon phone. It runs off Verizon cell towers. I have ALWAYS used AT&T phones. Didn't really think twice about it. But I literally get very little phone service from my home. It's annoyingly hilarious how I play Phone Twister. My Pennsylvania buddy and I can talk for 3 or 4 hours at a time. But now I have to lay in the middle of my bed, on my stomach, and I cannot move my head. Sometimes I have to suddenly move into a different position where I have one arm bent in the air holding the phone, halfway on my side. Sometimes I have to sit at my front door. Sometimes I have to stand in the middle of my driveway. Once, I almost had to stand in the middle of the street. "CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?" Ugh. As soon as I get the money I'm selling this phone for an AT&T phone. It was great the time I received a call telling me I got the job I was interviewing for and we got cut off twice!!!!! I was so angry.

Staying Motivated to Walk: RunKeeper App!

Because I want to improve on my blood sugar numbers (I am a Type 1 diabetic) I have decided to get back to walking. I used to do it all the time and loved it! I LOVE music and this is my opportunity to be alone with my thoughts. Fortunately, most of my favorite music is very upbeat with a great tempo for walking. My thing is that I hate walking during the day. I'm weird like that. I feel like people are watching me and criticizing. Like "Look at that fat chick trying to get healthy". Haha... I'm so hard on myself. I mentally abuse myself, I swear. And I shouldn't put myself down. But that's another story for another day.

Anyways, so back to walking. I downloaded an app that I HIGHLY recommend. I'm not getting any monetary compensation for promoting it. I'm promoting it because the features are top notch. The name of it is RunKeeper. It's for anyone, whether running or walking. So here is a screenshot. It's not from my personal screen, just one I found online.

So let me point out a few things in each screen. First of all, I highly recommend connecting the app to Facebook. You are able to connect with other friends from Facebook and see what activity they have been doing. I think it's great for motivation, especially if you have a friend that wants to lose weight/get healthy with you. If they see you haven't been walking or running in awhile they can get on to you and push you to keep going. If you allow it, it can also post to your Facebook page that you just worked out! Be proud of your hard work!!!

Ok, so the screen on the left. It keeps track of how many miles you walked. As you can see with this lady, she ran 6.2 miles in the current month of October. Then it compares her previous month of September where she ran 4.5 miles. She can see that she's accomplished more this month than last month. It looks as though she set a goal for herself of 100 miles. All in all she has run 71.7 miles. It keeps track of your pace and at the bottom of the screen you can see her record pace was 11:45/mile.

The next screen shows her current workout session. At that current point she was running for 23 minutes 47 seconds. I generally shoot for 1 hour of walking at this point to begin with. So it's great this app keeps track of that so if I fall short, I can push myself to keep going. Using GPS it keeps track of your speed. It's not shown in this particular image, but it has a map of the area you're walking. It colors a line to show your route. I think that's a really cool feature. So of course it also shows your current distance for that session. I don't really have a distance goal, but I try to aim for 2 miles per session.

The next screen shows a list of your friends that you're linked to from Facebook that also use the app. It's pretty fun to see who is in the lead. I'm currently 3rd place of my friends, which is ok. I'm not really the competitive type. Right now I'm just trying to stay focused and making a routine of it. I don't want to give up. Maybe once I'm addicted to walking/running I can push myself to beat my buddy Omar who is the workout king LOL

The last screen displays a feature where you can post your workout for the world to see on Facebook. If you want to leave a comment about your workout you can type it here before you post.

So, it's a great app. Everything I explained to you is totally free. There are options that you can pay for, but I'm super cheap and I don't see a reason to hyper-analyze my walks. Oh! I forgot to mention. It also tells you your elevation. So if you're walking up and down hill alot it will give you credit for that.

Here's the links. Hope they work. If not, please comment and let me know. If you use this app leave comments below of your experience!

Download RunKeeper for your iPhone or Android smartphone

Do buggies get pulled over by the police?

Yes. Yes they do.

Used with permission by Ben Yoder.