It's been too long!

I know I haven't posted in awhile and I apologize. I started a new job back in July and it was full time. I had to get out of nursing for awhile. I won't get into the reasons, but it was mostly a family decision. Plus my last employer... well, I don't believe in burning bridges.

So I did some work for a company recently. I thought it was a dream come true. Everything was done at home, my breaks coincided with my son returning from school. But it's amazing how boring sitting at a desk on a computer can be. I mean it's fine if you can get up enough and stretch, but I ended up with back to back constant calls. It was great when I was in my month of training. But that month of "training" was so different than what I would be taking calls on. It was basically "learn as you go". But when you frequently have an irate person on the phone (which I frequently did) and you have no clue what you're supposed to be doing, it gets very stressful. And I did realize getting out of nursing would mean a HUGE pay cut. Like 75%. So they pay was terrible and I still missed nursing.

Then I started having alot of issues with swelling. It was so bad I could only waddle. I couldn't bend my ankles. I hear it's a common side effect that comes with taking Gabapentin. But that eventually went away because I couldn't imagine a world without Gabapentin. (I will also talk later about my recent experiences with Gabapentin). Good thing about this job is the insurance. I've had to go without insurance, which was catastrophic with serious chronic conditions. Not having a doctors care was bad.

Then I start having a real upset stomach. I would lay in bed experimenting with what I could or couldn't tolerate. It was mostly water, Sprite, and mashed potatoes. I literally lived on that for weeks. But I was still throwing that up. Then it became just Sprite and water. Then just water. Then, even water burned my stomach. And trying to deal with irate customers, or simply a company that lacked good management and communication skills was too much for me. I'd be on the phone with someone and ready to throw up any second. I was too weak to even sit at a computer at home all day. Breaks meant laying in bed in agony for 15 minutes twice a day, lunch was an hour of crawling in to bed with bad abdominal pain, and alot of crying. I told my boss and went to the ER 3 times with severe dehydration. I provided documentation to my boss and she put me on a Leave of Absence. The CT scans showed stones in my appendix. Not sure if that's what it was. But the dr said my appendix wasn't infected so he wasn't going to do surgery or antibiotics. But I'm loaded with Zofran, Bentyl, and another medication. Not to mention Toradol for the pain too.

But the CT scan also showed rheumatoid arthritis in my left sacroiliac joint in my left hip. It's ironic because I always had pain on that side that I thought was sciatica. But I'm not sure if SI joint arthritis can irritate the sciatic nerve causing pain.

Anyways, so I found a new doctor! And he's a doll baby. He's at Covington One Medical on 278 here. It's urgent care/primary care. He spent a good 30+ minutes on me. I told him about the RA find and he said it doesn't just show up in one joint, so he was skeptical. Then he checked many of my joints. Sure enough, he said I had arthritis in all my joints. OMG! What the heck? I had no clue. Yeah I'm achey alot, but I figured I was just being a cry baby.

So now we have type 1 diabetes with no insulin production capabilities. I have rheumatoid arthritis. And I also have a hormone or chemical that is attacking my thyroid. All are autoimmune diseases. Why am I being flooded with autoimmune diseases? Is it possible lupus is the cause? I guess I have to have an antibody test to see if it is lupus. It would explain ALOT. But I don't want lupus.

So what about the neuropathy and gabapentin? Well I went from 300 mg twice a day to 600 mg three times a day, now to 800 mg four times a day. Not on narcotics or anything. Next step would be Lyrica, which is similar, but different than gabapentin. I don't believe there's a generic for it, but there are alot of coupons and patient assistance programs available if I qualify. More tests are needed because the doctor I met in the same practice yesterday thinks it could also be something involving my spine and wants to do xrays. But I have to do things a little at a time. My pathetic insurance, BCBS PPO has a $2600 deductable. No way I'll meet that. So I still pay high premiums and they pay nothing. Basically it's as good as catastrophic only insurance. And it was the better of the two that this employer offers. The other was Kaiser and doesn't work well in this area. Plus it had a higher deductable.

I have never in my life seen health care become SO bad. If this is the effect Obama has on health care he just proved he's a failure. I'm SO upset.

But some good news. I have dealt with blood pressures that are sky high since I had pre-eclampsia with my younger son. It was supposed to go away after he was delivered, but it never did. I've been on bp meds off and on for 11 years. Dr. Stewart started me on Coreg twice a day. Yesterday at my follow up I was not 200/120 like Ive seen in the past. I was 118/80!!!!! I'm so happy!!! My heart no longer beats twice a second at rest. (120 beats a minute) I am now in the 90's. We're getting there!!!!! And he added Zocor for cholesterol for heart health. I don't know what my cholesterol is. But we are working to protect my heart and brain by preventing heart attack and stroke. Liver enzymes a little high, but not dangerous. No kidney damage despite having diabetes for 15 years or so. Which is amazing. Last a1c was 13.6. That's astronomical. Suicidal. So still working on that. Trying to find ways to afford insulin.

I do have anxiety issues that I've dealt with since losing my brother to suicide 10 years ago. I have an unrealistic fear of something bad happening to someone I love. Phone calls scare me because that's how I learned of my brothers death. I will not talk on the phone more than I have to. My oldest son wants to be a police officer. Even his job now has put his life at risk. So that might create unreasonable worry on my part. So I take a strong anti-anxiety benzodiazepine. Now they want to ease me off of it and replace it with an anti-depressant that also works on anxiety. I'm skeptical because I don't like this class of drugs. I've taken a few that left me shaking and throwing up. Bad drugs.

So, really all I want is diabetes in control, no blood pressure issues, no arthritis, no pain, no worry. It's depressing all this stuff is happening. It's insane! And right now there's no end in sight for the pain. It's day and night.